Dear Cal State LA First Year Student,
It is so easy to feel alone in college. But little interactions can mean so much, especially in these tough emotional trials. They can make you feel like you have a place. I found my comfort in one of the most unexpected of places: public transportation. Here is my story.
At the start, I didn't care much for riding the bus. The people were just distant faces with their own lives and their own problems. But one of the bus operators I would ride to school with made such a profound impact on me through simple interactions. “Good morning,” he would tell me when I got on his bus. Good morning. In those bleak times, when I was so overwhelmed with all the work for my classes and the transition to college as a whole that I didn't want to go to school anymore, his words meant so much. It seems like something we tell others so many times that it's become insignificant, but what he did changed the way I looked at the world. I started to care about the people around me.
Public transportation became something I engaged in, not just something I used. From that day on, I observed that operator whenever I was on his bus. He would tell his passengers “Have a nice day!” or “Take care!” when they got off. He would wake a college student sleeping on his bus once they arrived at her stop to make sure she went to school. One time, he returned the enthusiasm of three young children on the bus by giving each of them a fist bump. His gestures meant so much to me— and they still do— that I felt compelled to return them. I drew a portrait of him and wrote a thank-you note expressing how much I appreciated his interactions with his passengers. After weeks of hesitating and being terrified of his reaction, I gave him the drawing and the note. I didn't see his reaction to them, but I knew something had changed. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
The following day, we had a chat during one of his breaks. He spoke of various experiences during his 24 years as a bus operator, but what stood out the most was what he told me regarding my actions: “You just gotta be nice, and it'll come back when you don't expect it.”
He told me about how taken aback he was by my drawing. I thought about how completely unexpected his “good morning” was when I first started taking the bus. It's all part of a cycle that perpetuates itself as we keep giving back. We can make a difference in other people's lives, no matter who we are.
Kindness is out there, as long as you allow yourself to see it. But we focus so much on the violence and negativity in our world that it has become difficult to see the good side of humanity. We no longer trust each other; we shut ourselves away from each other and the world around us by spending hours on our phones on the Internet, scrolling through social media.
We are connected to this global network. But are we really connected to the people around us as we like to think?
My advice to you, dear student, is this: spend less time on your phone. Spend time away from social media. Observe the world around you, especially now that you're in an environment that is completely new and different from what you're used to. You will see students walking to class or waiting for the bus with earphones or headphones on and eyes glued to their screens. But if you become one of them, you effectively miss out on the things that happen around you that can give you new perspectives. If you just listen, you can find out for yourself that there are beacons of hope in this world; people in the most unexpected of places who create change in the people around them. And it can lead you to reach out to someone as well.
Best wishes,
Sam
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